Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Gay Discrimination and MY FRIENDS

GAY discrimination did happen at Don Rufinos in La Fortuna Costa Rica.

*Normally I try to keep anything pertaining to 'gay' on my other blog site: Doin GAY Costa Rica, but I really do BELIEVE this post is pertinent to this site as well. Don't worry, it only pertains to GAY discrimination, not 'gay' the act of.

The Don Rufino’s GAY discrimination thing happened so long ago I can’t even remember if it was 2 OR 3 years ago. Don’t know about it… read it here, but you don’t have too, you will still get the gist of this post without reading it.

The Don Rufino’s situation still bothers me to THIS day.

Not because we were discriminated against in an UGLY way, nor for the FACT our then, ‘gay friend and part owner of Rufinos’ never made it RIGHT (well, that still bothers me a little too) but for the fact ALL our ‘friends’, gay or straight, still frequent Don Rufino’s.

There is No disputing what happened. It WAS discrimination and it was because D’Angelo and myself ARE gay. AND it was never made RIGHT by the ‘gay friend and part owner’. Those are the FACTS in a nutshell, like I said, they’re not disputed by ANYONE involved.

Now, this day, it’s just understood that we won’t do anything which includes Don Rufino’s in the equation. So ALL occasions which include a night out of dinner and/or drinks with friends, be it birthday celebrations, anniversary’s, whatever, are handled in one of two ways- we are either NOT invited because Rufino’s is IN the equation (not a problem), or we meet somewhere else to PARTY, like our apartment or Lava Lounge. Everybody’s HAPPY. Kind of.

It’s ALL just accepted as the way things ARE. Not the best of scenarios, but accepted nonetheless. And that’s what bothers me.

I’m positive if a friend had a discriminatory problem in a particular establishment, the problem would be mine as well and I would support the friend through boycotting the establishment. I should note: I don’t necessarily believe in a ‘blind support’, I love you, but you gotta be right, the facts or situation need to basically speak for themselves. This would be a good example, Video: Gran Hotel in San Jose Discriminates. And don’t forget, everyone does AGREE we were discriminated against.

Now in this case, there are mutual friends involved and I understand that. But if I was the mutual friend of both, ‘us’ and the ‘gay part-owner of Rufino’s’, then I would have to put pressure on the friend I believed wrong. I obviously wouldn’t break the friendship of the ‘gay owner’, but I would say that I couldn’t support an establishment who discriminates in any fashion, gay or whatever, but we’d still be friends.

Am I wrong? Is it asking too much? Are the mutual friends unfairly put in the ‘middle’?

It bothers me, that even our gay Tico friend, Henry, goes there. Of all people, he should understand.

So this is what saddens me- since our friends weren’t the target of the discrimination, they obviously see this as NOT their problem. They took themselves out of the ‘middle’ so to speak. Hell, they took themselves out of the ENTIRE equation. To me, this is HUGE.. it’s the BIGGER problem and to me, speaks volumes about people in general. “I can’t see the white robes outside YOUR door from MY house.

Often difficult to admit, many times we're just thankful not to be the TARGETED group.

You either get what I’m saying or you don’t… it is not my intent to get into the ‘BIGGER picture’ of the ills of society in this post.

But what IS COOL- we meet tourists in Fortuna everyday and at some point in the conversation it goes like this:

“Hey, can you guys recommend a good place to eat?”

“Wells, there’s Lava Lounge, which we REALLY like, great atmosphere, good food… there’s also Rufino’s, GREAT food and they also get a nice crowd, but REALLY... we don’t go there on PRINCIPLE anymore.”

They always ask WHY?

So what’s COOL about that you ask?

Every ONE of them tells us, “Well, we won't go to Rufino’s then, fuck that.

Unconditionally. No questions asked. TOTAL support. They don’t give it another thought.

And HEY RUFINOS! We meet and talk to a LOT of people and that doesn’t even include the couchsurfers who stay with us.

This totally renews my FAITH in PEOPLE.

As for our ‘friends’…. they’re NOT really. Sad in a way, but it’s the TRUTH, because think about it, what if the SHIT really hit the fan?

I’m pretty certain, we’d be standing alone. Unless some couchsurfers happen to be staying with US.

Couchsurfers are COOL.

If you're Traveling GAY and need to know all about GAY Costa Rica, visit the GAY Section of our Travel Costa Rica NOW website and of course don't forget to CHECK OUT all our Costa Rica Travel Tip Videos, organized so you can easily FIND what you're looking for. ENjOy! and HOPE it HELPS.