Sunday, August 5, 2012

My Friend Wants to KILL Himself FOR REAL

Maybe in Costa Rica, suicide IS painless.

His name is Max but everyone calls him, 'Ime'. As he tells it, a nickname his first wife gave him because she said he was a selfish prick who only thought of himself; hence, I + me = Ime. He obviously doesn't mind 'the bash' since he introduces himself as such. I don't know, maybe he thinks it's true. Anyway, doesn't really matter, but what does matter is Max wants to KILL himself. I'm not sure I totally appreciate the fact he confided in me, because truthfully, it's a little much, but I do understand why he chose me to tell. Ime is my age, 52.

I've known Ime for about 7 months and like me, he's lived in Costa Rica for about 7 years. We became fast friends and actually, he's my only true friend I have here in Costa Rica. I don't toss the word 'friend' around like many seem to do, I would call most people I associate with here, good acquaintances... whatever. In my world, friends are people who are with you regardless, and when I say regardless, I mean REGARDLESS ... and that's Ime. I can tell him anything and vice versa... and there's no bullshit involved. I like that. It's as if we've been friends forever. Intellectually, Ime is much smarter than me, he literally knows a LOT of shit and even if he doesn't, his bullshit usually rings true, so most wouldn't know to call him OUT on it anyway. He's the guy who's going to win Trivial Pursuit- you know the type. BUT, I have him in emotional intelligence, so the fact he can explain in detail how the universe all fits together or how to kill someone with dental floss, he needs me to help with 'perspective and understanding' needless to say, we get along like peas and a fork.

Ironic, it was one of our first 'deep' conversations. Unfortunately, it was laced with extreme amounts of rum and cokes, so I couldn't see any red flags and the nuances are WAY vague but the conversation was about suicide...and I don't have to guess what I said, as my thoughts on the subject are vastly different from the majority thinking.. but since Ime isn't usually in the majority thinking, we had exactly the same thoughts on the matter. I'm thinking that's why he confided in me.

A few more tidbits about Ime. Like many people who come to Costa Rica, Ime seems to have money. I know in his past life he consulted and did well in real estate but he doesn't work here in Costa Rica. Ime has a really nice place outside of town and doesn't seem to want for anything. I know he did the family thing but he never talked about his kids or his ex-wife's and I've never felt inclined to bring them up. One thing Ime does do here, and very well, is drink. You would call him an alcoholic, I would say alcoholics go to meetings, Ime's a drinker. Just one more thing we have in common.

Anyway, I do feel sorry for folks who kill themselves because of feelings of hopelessness. But I also believe many people are like Ime (and me), he's just done. And that's exactly how he explained it to me. "Michael, I've done what I've wanted, I've been in love, had good friends and family... there's nothing more on my bucket list. I'm not depressed and I'm not mad or running from anything.... I'm just done."

I can totally understand Ime's way of THINKNG

Sorry, let me get to the point of all this. Ime hasn't asked my advice and believe me, he didn't tell me in order to try and have me talk him out of it, he's not looking for sympathy or seeking attention, I know him, he's serious, he just asked me to do a few things for him after he does do it. Bottom line- Ime will kill himself- it's a given. He merely wants me to explain it to his mother.... he wants me to tell her he's good, no problems...not sad or depressed or any of the regular reasons people decide to put a bullet in their brain...he wants me to tell her his life 'was' good....but as he described it to me, he's 'like a woman who knows when it's time to leave'.... he says it's his time to leave.

Ime does appreciate my perspective and really, I only had to recommendations: First, why don't you wait until your mother dies FIRST, why do this now... I remember thinking, 'selfish much'? He just answered, "that's why I want you to talk to her, tell her not to be sad......"

Gee, thanx friend.

I also advised against pills or the hose in the exhaust, it's a little more 'user' friendly. He laughed and said that's exactly how it's going to go.

Believe me, I know this post sounds a little 'flippant'...but you know, it's the reality of things and really, what do you expect when you put 2 Libertarians/Atheists in the same room.... yikes.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Not sure it's going to change anything... but please, TALK to me.

PS. I believe Ime when he says he's done,,,,, but I recall this video I made with my friend, Bill, awhile back...sheer BOREDOM could also be doing it to Ime.

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