First off, I want to say THANK-YOU so much for all the encouragement, support, feedback, opinions and suggestions concerning my friend, Ime’s, plight. And a TRIPLE THANX to all of you who shared some of your own personal stories- it was ALL very much appreciated. I received about 50 or so comments and personal emails, that’s a LOT for me. So again, thanx.
I can’t say I agree with everything that was sent to me but then again, you only know what I told you, so I feel obligated to fill in the many holes I left in the 'Ime' story. Not sure it will change anybodies mindset, but it might offer some new perspective. If I told Ime everything that was said, 'selfish, bored, arrogant, self loathing etc', he would probably agree. Anyway...
Let’s start with a few more ‘Ime’ details.
I mentioned that Ime is highly intelligent and he is. Actually,
Mensa material, which he was. He kinda quit- got tired of everyone trying to
‘out brain’ each other, as he puts it.
Whatever. He’s close to his mother and talks to her frequently. However, like I mentioned, he doesn’t discuss his kids so I think its safe to say, they’re estranged. His mom knows how he is. I probably should have wrote, he would like me to
‘reassure’ her, comfort her so to speak. Strangely, I’ve never meant her, but she knows of me, like I know of her, but Ime telling me to let her use my shoulder to cry on seems weird.
I'm certain she would feel the same. It was my BAD for writing it like if he killed himself, it would be a total shock. I don’t think it would be. But even with that we discussed the
‘selfishness’ of it all on numerous occasions and on that point, I’m with Ime. Without getting crazy philosophical, think of it kinda like this. My mom and dad stayed together for ’the kids’, when they clearly should have gotten a divorce. They did NO ONE any favors by ’faking it’ for the kids…it sucked, trust me. And although Ime might be able to fake it,,,, should he really have too? Ime and I are in agreement that
ultimately it is 'your' life and really, to have control over your own death, is kind of the icing on the cake and during these specific discussions, I remember thinking of a quote from one of my favorite movies, ’Shawshank Redemption’- “Get Busy Livin’ or get busy dyin’”. So in Ime’s mind, he’s done, so get on with it.... I agree. Again, without getting knee-deep in the selfishness discussion, we both think Dr. Kevorkian got a raw deal and both believe in the 'right to die'. So lets agree to disagree on the ’selfishness’ factor since it's deserves a lot more debate and discussion than I can give it here.
“En vino veritas” - in wine there’s truth. I believe this is fairly accurate quote. I’ve been around drinkers and I would classify myself as such and your tongue gets loose, that’s a fact. While drinking, things often become over-dramatic as well, but like a TripAdvisor review, take out the highs and lows and the truth is there. Ime is not a dramatic drunk. He drinks, but it just makes him talk, it’s not like he starts crying…. And if you’ve ever been around a drinker, ’cryer’……OMG,,,,, I want to put them out of their misery myself, forget suicide, Ime is not that. If asked why he drinks, he would tell you he does so to “even the playing field”. Most find this a very arrogant statement, again, I see his point. He dumbs himself down in order to converse with the ’common folks’. Judge as you will, but the truth is, I think it’s difficult to be genius. You’re so abOVE other people’s thinking, there’s just no one to relate to……….. Now don’t get me wrong, I call BULLSHIT on him as well. Yes, it could be true about ‘dumbing down‘, but drinking is a little more complex than that… so believe me, I don’t let him off the hook. Beginning with,
"Why do you drink so much.... bitch?"
However, he is not depressed as many of you suggested per your emails, although I totally understand how you came to that conclusion. Well, at least he doesn't fit the clinical definition of depression. He’s NOT crying for help mind you. Matter of fact, I’m the only one who knows of his intentions. It’s funny, serious cries for help are often mistaken as ‘attention seeking’…. Ime knows this, so he says nothing. He doesn’t mop around, he goes about his day…. Take my word, you would NEVER know.
Many of you suggested Ime needs a purpose. I agree. I think he's bored. HELLO, purpose is what drives most of us- a reason to live, to keep putting one foot in front of the other…… without purpose, we're Ime. I’ve talked to him about volunteering,,, sharing his knowledge….
‘Hell, write a book, that will keep your ass busy for a few years….’. He’s not dumb, he understands this, but as he says it,……
’There’s just no more gas in the tank….’
I'm in agreement. Get on with it. 'Get busy livin' OR get busyin' dyin'' What are you waiting for?
BUT...
Whatever Ime. Now it's my turn. So check your 6000+ IQ at the door,, because here’s what I got for you.
First and foremost, I love you. You’ve been the best of what a friend is.. you’ve listened to my bullshit, talked me down, gave me perspective…and the discussions, the fucking DisCuSSIONs.... the conversations, just talking to you makes me question my every thought, I love the fact you keep me thinking, and I don't think you could be closer than a brother, I love you, for real. BUT, the fact you can summarize Steven Hawking's,
“A Brief History in Time” in 15 minutes, doesn’t do shit for the fact you’re too pussy to tell your mother whats up.. Fuck you. You want to off yourself,,,, so be it. But your brainyness should tell you, you need to talk to your mother YOURSELF, and until you do…..I’m not on board with you. I love you, respect your ‘right’ to die
blah, blah, blah….. Whatever. And when you do get the BALLS to tell your mother, I’ll load the fuckin' gun for your sillyass self..
Until then, we’re drinking rum and discussing why 9-11 was an inside job…….. Got me?
PS. Your IQ doesn’t mean shit unless you use it………
Love, your better than friend.....
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