Thursday, May 7, 2009

Costa Rica- Irritations NEVER Cease

'Costa Rican Mosquitoes LOVE me and BUGS want to GET with me.'

Culture Shock should be expected when moving to a foreign country- it’s the degree and how it’s dealt with that tends to be the DEAL BREAKER. INFO on Culture Shock.

I’ve dealt with the Culture Shock Shit, no problem; it’s the mosquitoes, bug bites, rashes, infections (I prefer in-fuck-tions) and random breathing problems that have been kickin my ass since moving to Costa Rica. Hell, give me the Culture Shock, it just may be easier to deal with.

Todays SKIN issue. Both armpits. IRRITATING and ITCHY- 2 weeks now.

Let’s go BACK a bit:

Growing up and into adulthood I’ve always had skin problems- face and back acne (zits on the ASS are also highly attractive), dry skin, eczema, really…. rash type problems too numerous to mention. I recall going weeks with my back in constant agony of needing to be scratched. I use to scratch my back with a huge butcher knife and ONCE, I forgot to go back and forth and instead went up and down… NOT good. And don’t get me started on JOCK itch….ewh! Side Note: If your son or daughter has acne issues- do whatever is in your power to HELP them and don’t joke about it- Teenage Acne is a serious self-esteem issue and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Dealing with kids was my past life. See: Accutane, it WORKS, but it's a visit to the Doctor thing.

Not me, but my HEART goes out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, I’m not foreign to skin issues and I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when they began popping up shortly after arriving in Costa Rica.

But not just 'rash-type' skin issues- Mosquitoes LOVE me and BUGS want to ‘GET’ with me. Fifteen people in a room and one mosquito, it’s biting ME… repeatedly. I am anyone’s PERFECT eco-friendly, self-sustainable mosquito repellent. Why spread DEET all over your body, when you have ME around? For a small fee, I travel. And many of the bites from the 'WHATEVERS', stay with me for weeks, what's that about?

My VERY first Costa Rican, ‘I have a skin issue and need to see a Doctor NOW’, was an infucktion that seriously needed to be LANCED. The placement of this infucktion was rather embarrassing, funny, but EMBARRASSING (even for me). I know its placement ‘CRACKed’ some people up.

Even more good skin stuff:

Don’t know what Leishmaniasis is? My experience with Leishmaniasis can be found here in a past POST: It's NOT Swarzenegger, it's Leishmaniasis. Don't care, here's the pics:

Leishmaniasis: 3 Years AGO and TODAY

The Leishmaniosis SUCKED major ass, but I knew what it was and could deal with it. The worst by far is when I was having bouts of not breathing- that was scary, like an anxiety attack without the anxiety… well, it did cause anxiety to some degree, but it didn’t start with anxiety if you know what I mean. Actually, it started with coughing, which lasted over a month, then suddenly and randomly I wouldn’t be able to breathe, usually in the morning but sometimes in the afternoon as well. I tried to diagnose the problem myself- a holistic approach if you will. I don’t think overdosing on Vitamin C worked, but the cough and the bouts of not breathing went away after about 3 more weeks of Respiratory HELL. Personally, I think not breathing is about 100X worse than getting kicked in theNUTS- it hurts like a BITCH, but you pretty much know you're not going to DIE- when you're not breathing, it creates a LOT of DOUBT about tomorrow.

<<<<<<<<<<< A friend gave me one for my issue- BAD, BAD idea.

I know what you’re thinking- allergic reactions, a change in eating habits, a change of laundry soap… remember, I’ve been dealing with this shit forever. If I had to guess, I would say the bug and mosquito problems are just because they find my DNA attractive, rashes, dry skin (which has also happens to me here) I believe is caused by humidity and the fact I work out a LOT and when I get sweaty and HOT, my skin re-ACTS in a, “I’m so sick of you exercising and getting all HOT and SWEATY, I’m going to BREAK out in FUGLY red blotches all over your body,” type of way. The ones on my face were the worst. I know there were many times when a ‘friend’ wanted to say, “What are those fugly looking red blotches all over your face?” But being the friend they were, they acted as if they didn’t see the booger hanging out of my nose. Now, that’s a friend. This crap under my armpits, a total nuisance, but I'll ride it out.

You also may be thinking, "Hey michael, you always had skin problems, don't BLAME Costa Rica." First, I wouldn't 'blame' anyone, it's my choice to live here, but I can say the problems are of a different 'strain'. Really, I think the common denominator in my skin issues IS 'contact dermatitis', with differences being the Costa Rican numerators (got that?) Unfortunately, when I ask what the 'numerator' is, I usually hear, "Well, no sé, but lets try this cream." Pura Vida.

Whatever. Costa Rica is worth every mosquito infuckted, red blotch itchin, RASH and... even the bouts of respiratory HELL… have you ever seen the Arenal Volcano at night spewing lava while the jungle was singing BACKUP? I have....itch, itch.

Hey Everyone, we got TONS of Costa Rica Travel Information in our Travel Guide at Travel Costa Rica NOW and don't FORGET all our Costa Rica Travel Tip Videos, completely ORGANIZED so you can EASILY find what you're LOOKING for. ENjOY!