Tuesday, November 9, 2010

WHY pickpockets think your HOT

Gay or straight, if you're OUT partying in Costa Rica you'll need to know this.
*Sorry girls, this is mostly a guy thing since when it comes to the possibility of having a sexual encounter guys tend to think with the wrong head- what can I say, you're smarter.

Hey Guys! I've seen this happen personally and have heard about it often enough to know it can be a problem... and it doesn't matter if you're dancing with the boys in a gay club such as La Avispa or doing shots in one of the many 'straight' bars and discos located inside El Pueblo, you need to be AWARE of this little, how should I say, distraction.

First, it's a vacation for god sake, it's not difficult to understand how the following scenario could play out... but when you ENTER alcohol and/or other party favors, inhibition seems to get tossed aside like a $2.00 hooker (now that's a bargain basement inhibition) and as euphoria (or inebriation) sets in, simple problem solving may as well be quantum physics. Read that as, your dick doesn't do math.

But who cares, chillin' and partying in Costa Rica , right now, all is right with the world. Until...

...the man or woman of your dreams begins to dance with you.

"WTF? How HOT is this... so 'out of my league' but dancing with me, ...ME, SWEET!"

Enter- quantum physics.

"Whatever, I'm going to just ride this out and see where it goes...... fuck it, I'm on vacation in Costa Rica BABY!"

"Nice, feeling all over my ass.... whoaaa, comin' around the front.... I must be looking HoT tonight."

Sober, red flags would fly as soon as 'wet dream' began to dance with you since hook-ups are only this E-Z in the movies, that is, unless you PAID for said 'wet dream'- that's a different kinda movie.

One of two things is about to happen- Pick-pocketed right there on the dance floor by 'wet dream' or an accomplice OR taken outside and mugged when you had something a little HOTTER in mind.

Sorry guys, Beauty and the Beast rarely happens, it's an exception and you are NOT it.

But I understand, every once in awhile it's nice when quantum physics makes sense,,,, at least for a few moments that is.

Party Pointers: Taxi from club to club, don't walk anywhere. Don't party or go out alone if you can help it. Be careful as to how fucked-up you get. Carry only the money you need for the night and your I.D./passport. Keep nothing in your back pocket. If you must carry a credit card, hide it, ditto for your passport. Tell SOMEONE or EVERYONE your basic itinerary for the night, even if it's just updating your status on FB or Twitter but let SOMEONE know and double especially if you're going out solo- the hotel receptionist is a good start. Personally, I carry a switchblade, even into the clubs, but that's me... yeah, I hide it. And remember, keep a healthy skepticism when someone approaches you from out of the blue and is either overly flirtatious or somewhat aggressive when attempting to pick you up. *They could just be a prostitute working too hard.

And lastly, don't forget the condoms, after all, I could be wrong and this could be your LUCKY night.

"Yeah, right."

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2 comments:

Mary Lynn said...

Better tip - bring a COPY of your passport, leave the original home

michael alan said...

Actually Mary, we also used to say that... but not anymore. Copy's unfortunately, don't always cut it anymore And you got about 50-50 chance of not getting in... of course it also depends on your age...we found this out the hard way- TWICE.