7 Hours of ITCHY HELL

Living in Costa Rica has a couple drawbacks.....ugh!
Two nights ago I was sitting outside chatting with a friend, it was about 6:00pm. I look at my arm and noticed I'd been bitten by something. This is NOT shocking, as I get BIT pretty much everyday by something or other. No BIGGIE.... or so I thought. About 20 minutes passed when I felt my neck getting 'HOT' and itchy. Again, for me, nothing new. An hour goes by and I'm up in our apartment, the initial bump on my arm is now a neighborhood of about 20 single family units. Did I say arm, NOW it's 'arms'. F***! *Check out my right arm, you can't see it well, but it's BAD.

For the NEXT 6 hours, it wasn't looking GOOD for me, in fact it was getting so BAD, even D'Angelo said it might be time to call the doctor.... and he's seen some pretty FUNKY skin irritations on me over the last few years of living in Costa Rica. I could feel my entire body getting HOT and feverish. Luckily, it wasn't 'chicken pox' itchy.... so I could get away with 'light' rubbing/tickling..... it felt sooooo GOOD. But obviously this rubbing was causing the spreading.... and spreading quicker than an La Country brush fire- ALL over my body. Small neighborhoods continued to pop-UP, but I couldn't help myself.

*For those NEW to this blog, I've written before about how, 'Costa Rican Mosquitoes LOVE me and BUGS want to GET with me.' in this post: Costa Rica- Irritations NEVER Cease which also has a GREAT 'before' and 'after' pic of my Leishmaniasis. Actually, that dark spot on my upper leg in the pic above. is a little GIFT left from a particularly nice, sand-fly friend of mine.

I wasn't ready to call the doctor quite yet. I slathered copious amounts of hydrocortisone cream (I keep about 74 tubes in stock....just in case) and some itchy type cream all over my body until I went to bed. I laid down and was actually able to sleep. When I awoke- GONE, nothing, no bumps, no redness... no small communities spread over my body...... SWEET!


What did I learn from my 6-7 hours of discomfort- well, if the rash was any indication- apparently I scratch my ass a LOT more than I thought.

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Costa Rica- Irritations NEVER Cease

'Costa Rican Mosquitoes LOVE me and BUGS want to GET with me.'
Culture Shock should be expected when moving to a foreign country- it’s the degree and how it’s dealt with that tends to be the DEAL BREAKER. INFO on Culture Shock.

I’ve dealt with the Culture Shock Shit, no problem; it’s the mosquitoes, bug bites, rashes, infections (I prefer in-fuck-tions) and random breathing problems that have been kickin my ass since moving to Costa Rica. Hell, give me the Culture Shock, it just may be easier to deal with.

Todays SKIN issue. Both armpits. IRRITATING and ITCHY- 2 weeks now.
Let’s go BACK a bit:

Growing up and into adulthood I’ve always had skin problems- face and back acne (zits on the ASS are also highly attractive), dry skin, eczema, really…. rash type problems too numerous to mention. I recall going weeks with my back in constant agony of needing to be scratched. I use to scratch my back with a huge butcher knife and ONCE, I forgot to go back and forth and instead went up and down… NOT good. And don’t get me started on JOCK itch….ewh! Side Note: If your son or daughter has acne issues- do whatever is in your power to HELP them and don’t joke about it- Teenage Acne is a serious self-esteem issue and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Dealing with kids was my past life. See: Accutane, it WORKS, but it's a visit to the Doctor thing.

Not me, but my HEART goes out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, I’m not foreign to skin issues and I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when they began popping up shortly after arriving in Costa Rica.

But not just 'rash-type' skin issues- Mosquitoes LOVE me and BUGS want to ‘GET’ with me. Fifteen people in a room and one mosquito, it’s biting ME… repeatedly. I am anyone’s PERFECT eco-friendly, self-sustainable mosquito repellent. Why spread DEET all over your body, when you have ME around? For a small fee, I travel. And many of the bites from the 'WHATEVERS', stay with me for weeks, what's that about?

My VERY first Costa Rican, ‘I have a skin issue and need to see a Doctor NOW’, was an infucktion that seriously needed to be LANCED. The placement of this infucktion was rather embarrassing, funny, but EMBARRASSING (even for me). I know its placement ‘CRACKed’ some people up.

Even more good skin stuff:

Don’t know what Leishmaniasis is? My experience with Leishmaniasis can be found here in a past POST: It's NOT Swarzenegger, it's Leishmaniasis. Don't care, here's the pics:

Leishmaniasis: 3 Years AGO and TODAY
The Leishmaniosis SUCKED major ass, but I knew what it was and could deal with it. The worst by far is when I was having bouts of not breathing- that was scary, like an anxiety attack without the anxiety… well, it did cause anxiety to some degree, but it didn’t start with anxiety if you know what I mean. Actually, it started with coughing, which lasted over a month, then suddenly and randomly I wouldn’t be able to breathe, usually in the morning but sometimes in the afternoon as well. I tried to diagnose the problem myself- a holistic approach if you will. I don’t think overdosing on Vitamin C worked, but the cough and the bouts of not breathing went away after about 3 more weeks of Respiratory HELL. Personally, I think not breathing is about 100X worse than getting kicked in theNUTS- it hurts like a BITCH, but you pretty much know you're not going to DIE- when you're not breathing, it creates a LOT of DOUBT about tomorrow.

<<<<<<<<<<< A friend gave me one for my issue- BAD, BAD idea.

I know what you’re thinking- allergic reactions, a change in eating habits, a change of laundry soap… remember, I’ve been dealing with this shit forever. If I had to guess, I would say the bug and mosquito problems are just because they find my DNA attractive, rashes, dry skin (which has also happens to me here) I believe is caused by humidity and the fact I work out a LOT and when I get sweaty and HOT, my skin re-ACTS in a, “I’m so sick of you exercising and getting all HOT and SWEATY, I’m going to BREAK out in FUGLY red blotches all over your body,” type of way. The ones on my face were the worst. I know there were many times when a ‘friend’ wanted to say, “What are those fugly looking red blotches all over your face?” But being the friend they were, they acted as if they didn’t see the booger hanging out of my nose. Now, that’s a friend. This crap under my armpits, a total nuisance, but I'll ride it out.

You also may be thinking, "Hey michael, you always had skin problems, don't BLAME Costa Rica." First, I wouldn't 'blame' anyone, it's my choice to live here, but I can say the problems are of a different 'strain'. Really, I think the common denominator in my skin issues IS 'contact dermatitis', with differences being the Costa Rican numerators (got that?) Unfortunately, when I ask what the 'numerator' is, I usually hear, "Well, no sé, but lets try this cream." Pura Vida.

Whatever. Costa Rica is worth every mosquito infuckted, red blotch itchin, RASH and... even the bouts of respiratory HELL… have you ever seen the Arenal Volcano at night spewing lava while the jungle was singing BACKUP? I have....itch, itch.

Hey Everyone, we got TONS of Costa Rica Travel Information in our Travel Guide at Travel Costa Rica NOW and don't FORGET all our Costa Rica Travel Tip Videos, completely ORGANIZED so you can EASILY find what you're LOOKING for. ENjOY!

It's NOT Schwarzenegger it's Leishmaniasis

Kids, believe me, you don’t want THIS>>>>>>>

This is called Leishmaniosis. The symptoms of leishmaniasis are skin sores which erupt weeks to months after the person affected is bitten by sand flies. This is common in the more ‘developing’ parts of the world. No, it does not occur in the States.

For much more INFO and GROSS pictures of Leishmaniosis, see the WIKI people HERE.

At first, they appeared as two runaway mutant zits- one on the hamstring (pictured) of my right leg, the other on the left, front thigh. I think the one on my right leg was the ‘ARNOLD circa 1978’ of Leishmaniosis, but eventually, even ‘the ARNOLD” morphed and began to look exactly like the ever-erupting Areanl Volcano, not 3 miles from our apartment.

They appeared about 2 weeks after being bitten, which put me in Nicaragua at the time, not that that matters…just sayin. It became quickly apparent that these were MUCH more than ‘Zits on Steroids’, and they were beginning to hurt, so I made a trip to the doctor.

I must have been this med-students first patient…EVER! She actually tried to POP it (I guess it looked like a runaway mutant ZIT to her too). Now when I was growing up, you were often taught to ‘grin and bare it.’ For example, if a dentist would actually poke me and draw blood, I was pretty good about not showing much pain or discomfort- so as blood gushed, I’m like, “No, it’s okay, no problem, didn’t feel a thing.” It was just the time. Kids are Pussies nowadays…but I digress. But this med student actually made me whimper like a puppy in need of its mother’s teat. I tried to take it, I tried to ‘buck-up little camper- but she kept squeezing- the ‘ARNOLD’ one- HARD, multiple times- the pain was right up there with getting kicked in the nads, repeatedly. Finally, it was just too much, and I said,’ “Stop Fucking Doing That,” which is usually totally out of character for me. Well, it didn’t really matter as she didn’t know a lick of English, but she understood the TONE- at least enough to stop for the moment. For a split-second, I almost thought about grabbing her titty and twisting it really hard and asking her how she liked it- I know, sad but true. Anyways, being in fight or flight mode, I chose flight, and in the nick of time,,,,,, because she was rolling up her sleeves and obviously searching the drawer for a medical utensil that could squeeze harder than her thumbs… and determination was written all over her face. Think GI Jane in a Freddy Krueger type of way. C ya.

I later learned this was not how to treat Leishmaniosis.

Doctor #2 was pretty sure he knew what it was, but that I should get a blood test to make sure. He also asked if I had insurance. Now, that scared me; a gringo in another country with big ass sores oozing blood, and NO insurance. I told him I would be paying cash- with NO idea on what to expect. Doctor, office visits, treatments- HELLO, I’m from the States- this can’t be good. I was thinking, treat me first, we’ll talk money later. I let my mom know I might be returning to the States sooner than expected.

The sores got MUCH worse. I recieved 2 months of shots, every SINGLE day- 5 injections into the ‘ARNOLD’ sore and 2 or 3 in the other, EVERY DAY! I’ll let you do the math on how many injections that was.

For 2 ½ months it totally sucked to be me (some think it must always suck to be me). If I sat down for more than 5 minutes, when I got up…nothing but blood running down my leg, NOT attractive. That picture doesn’t show the half of it. But eventually they did get better.

Afterwards, I asked how much I owed, and really, I had no idea- he could have said anything and I wouldn’t have argued. The entire treatment- office visits, shots, needles, medicine (don’t forget EVERYDAY), came to $140.00. I bought the office a pizza. I love Costa Rica.

He may have cut me slack on the price because I always allowed his medical students studying from the States to sit in on my treatment, (not many get to see real-life Leishmaniosis, so it’s quite the treat and of course I allowed for pictures) and sometimes I even let them give me the shots. Talking about ‘grin and bare it,’ have you ever been given a shot where the needle was put in really SLLOOOOOW. Thankfully, the thought of twisting a titty never occurred to me- lucky for them.

It’s not likely I’ll ever forget about having Leishmaniosis, it left 2 Nasty scars, and I mean UGLY. The ‘ARNOLD’ is easily the size of a 50 cent piece and resembles a bullet hole. The upside? They do supply the means for great story telling.

Did I tell you about the time I broke up a robbery attempt, but was shot in the leg?

A sand fly just doesn’t have the same dramatic impact.

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